Demolition Derby at the Adams County Fair

"How y'all doin'?"
the man at the gate asks, stooped in our car window
hands in his apron
he was delighted that I had $12 in exact change
We park on muddying grass and
mosey off toward the Junior Fair barns
to scratch pigs' foreheads and
be nibbled by this spring's sheared Suffolk lambs
Skanky teenagers prowl for each other in packs
donning their best imitations of urbane street fashion
mixed with western wear
Taco In A Bag
Elephant Ears
Roasted Sweet Corn
Deep Fried Snickers Bars
cheap cowboy hats and confederate bandannas
are all for sale
Later, sitting on splintering wooden bleachers
before a rectangle of wet red orange clay
we watch smoldering behemoths
fight each other to the death
sans windshields
The main event smells of
cigarette butts, spilled sticky drinks,
mud, motor oil, and the dirty exhaust of condemned automobiles
Volunteer firemen stand at the ready
donning heavy protective suits officiously in the sweltering heat
a smashed Lincoln bursts into flame and
they run onto the track
dragging heavy hose in a slapstick routine worthy of a silent film
The crowd roars and hoots
it is composed of several busloads of misshapen and abused humanity
the pale forms of the rural poor
festooned with wheelchairs, oxygen tanks, hairdos two decades gone,
sunburns, beer bellies, bad tattoos,
obese children in cutoffs and flip-flops, amputated limbs,
sheathed hunting knives, and t-shirts with ripped off sleeves
people age fast here
They leap to their feet after a singularly tectonic collision
between the surprisingly agile Beretta and the seemingly-doomed car 733
"Everone needs to set down! Please set down!"
the announcer pleads in his twangily sing-song preacher-auctioneer voice
an axle breaks and soon it is all over
they clear out and head for the exits after the final gladiatorial heat
A solitary man, gray and bent
scours the emptied bleachers for aluminum cans
placing each one delicately in black plastic bag
Night has fallen
the dead cars are dragged away
the Junior Fair kids linger in their livestock barns
families shuffle back to their RV's and campers
and the fairgrounds is largely abandoned to
teenaged creatures of the night
celebrating fair week
by thronging the midway rides
and lining up for corndogs and lemon shake-ups

Recessional

Rudyard Kipling penned this poem in 1897 for Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee.

Empires always end badly. Take note America.

God of our fathers, known of old--
Lord of our far-flung battle line
Beneath whose awful hand we hold
Dominion over palm and pine--
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget - lest we forget!

The tumult and the shouting dies;
The captains and the kings depart:
Still stands Thine ancient sacrifice,
An humble and a contrite heart.
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget - lest we forget!

Far-called, our navies melt away;
On dune and headland sinks the fire:
Lo, all our pomp of yesterday
Is one with Nineveh and Tyre!
Judge of the Nations, spare us yet,
Lest we forget - lest we forget!

If, drunk with sight of power, we loose
Wild tongues that have not Thee in awe--
Such boasting as the Gentiles use
Or lesser breeds without the law--
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget - lest we forget!

For heathen heart that puts her trust
In reeking tube and iron shard--
All valiant dust that builds on dust,
And guarding, calls not Thee to guard--
For frantic boast and foolish word,
Thy mercy on Thy people, Lord!

For Mom

We sit around the oversize oak-veneer table
at the corporate franchise theme restaurant steakhouse
in Western Hills Plaza.
Ersatz adverts for fake Australian shit
loom ubiquitous-like.
Bored suburbanites munching.
"I think your sister's boyfriend is a drug dealer" she tells me.
"No Mom. He's not. I know for a fact."
I know my sister's drug dealer pretty well actually,
although I do not mention this.
She tells me how she used to sell pot with my uncle
when she was my age.
I am unsurprised.
"The problem with drugs" she says
"is that they fry your brain. And
if you fry your brain really young...
...well its just not good."
Then she proceeds to tell me
with all sincerity
how during world war two
the Nazis tunneled under Antarctica
and snuck into the second earth
inside of this earth
(which you can get to from there,
via an interdimensional portal)
where they hid their Nazi secrets
about how to control the universe.
Yes
I think
all of this is true.
I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.